Mid life crisis

Aaand welcome back. [WJ looks to camera]

I have recently been accused of having a mid life crisis. Perhaps I just have a friend/colleague (hmmm, are they mutually exclusive?) or two who are concerned for me - nah. More likely some of smug-married mates living vicariously and feeling a tad jealous.

The reason for this? I would like to think that it isn't because I have all of a sudden started looking 10 years older and therefore have plunged wrinkle-first into looking middle aged - after all, isn't 40 the new 30 (whatever the hell that means)?

No, there are actually a couple of reasons for this, or maybe even 3. Let's go to our favourite formatting cop out, the list... Over to you Waz:

[Waz is chilling out with an Asahi and looks up from playing Gears of War]

Well, thanks WJ, let's take a look at what might have caused people to think you are moments away from a Ferrari, inflatable blond companion and an alcohol problem.. Maybe it is because they know you? [cut to WJ, looking pissed off] [cut back to Waz, chuckling at his own hilarity] Just joking WJ, let's get to that list:

1. You are, in fact, getting a new car. - yes, it's on the list!
2. You recently bought new glasses. Tick.

Hmmm, only two there at the moment. I think we need to drill down into those suckers and take a closer look - back to you WJ.

[WJ seeths with passive aggressive rage]

Yeah, thanks Waz, you crack me up. Those aren't wrinkles, they are non-structural cracks due to your side-splitting humour...

OK, back to more serious matters. It is quite true that I am looking for a new car at the moment - but that is mainly because the lease on my old one is running out and I need a car to be able to do my job.

And on the glasses issue - I have had a new prescription for over 6 months and hadn't got around to getting the new specs sorted. The fact that they are terribly cool has less to do with a need for sea change and more to do with me being, well, cool I guess.

So there you have it - rational explanations for what might at first blush appear to be the irrational acts of a man in crisis. Rest easy people, the world is yet in equilibrium...

Public announcement

Here at the Youth Unintentional Obfuscation Media Empire (which we will refer to as You/Me), we are always striving to meet the changing needs of our audience and friends.



As part of this continuing initiative, we are moving to a different format which will better suit the tastes and needs of today You/Me reader. As a part of this update, we are moving to a two host show, so we are able to better cover all aspects of our subject matter. We are pleased to re-introduce a host you are all familiar with, WJ...



[cut to WJ, behind modern newsdesk, wearing fashionable suit - WJ smiles, yet maintains an air of gravitas appropriate for coverage of items from ground-breaking news to the birth of the latest siamese panda septuplets].



Thank you, and welcome back to UO. I will continue to take you through the news and events that affect our, and your, day.



And to bring a welcome view on the lighter side of life, meet Waz



[cut to Waz, wearing t shirt and jeans, standing in front of a green screen running a highlight video montage of activities such as basketball, tennis, X Box, World of Warcraft, funky pub interiors...]



Hey, good to see you. I'm here to take you inside all the latest stuff that is happening in the world of sports, gaming, and having fun. It's gonna be fun!



Thanks Waz, welcome to the team. Stay tuned for more cutting edge programming...

Acclimatising

It has been rather tricky getting used to the weather back here. Yes, I was in Scotland and yes it was around the same temperature there as it is here at the moment.

A couple of significant issues have made it a little tougher to settle in back here.

• we have crap heating in our homes (or at least I do) and most other places too - now those Edinburgh types have the right idea, with more chimney pots than you could poke a camera at;
  


• remember, it was summer there and it is winter here, so I shouldn't complain - after all, I went there of my own volition;
  


• I may have stopped off in Abu Dhabi and caught up with Georgia for a couple of days on the way back (ok, I did), and it may have been 45 degrees C there (ok, it was)...

I guess another difference is that there is daylight there from about 4.30 until about 10.30 at the moment, which is again a little different to waking up in the dark and getting home in the dark back here.

I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I actually have to get up and do work again now, rather than waking up when I feel like it (usually just before they stop serving brekky) and spending the day wandering around places such as the forests in Glencoe...

Are yer lookin at me, yer numpty?

Hello all.

Am back from my little jaunt to Scotland and Nth England. Had a ball.







Spent a lot of time playing in these things







and a lot of time playing in these things too..

Met up with lots of friends, drank way too much in the way of ale and malt, all in all a good time. Several revelations too. I realised that there is a reason that they drink not very cold, even less fizzy beer over there... it is rarely hot enough to warrant anything else. I quite enjoyed sampling all the local ales, which was complete hypocrisy for all the years of me slagging off warm flat beer to any pasty-skinned British type in hearing...

Another discovery - if you don't think about what is in haggis, it actually tastes quite good, especially after an evening of drinking too many of the aforementioned ales. I tried to tell myself this was culinary bravery and environmentally sound as there was even less waste from livestock, but it is just the tight-arsed Scots not throwing anything away, even when they should. I hang my haggis-eating head in shame.

Went dry-suit diving in Scapa Flow on some WWII wrecks, which sounds terribly cool if I do say so myself, and I just did. It was cool, btw, and way better than those docos on Discovery or the History Channel...

So what has been happening here?