Mid life crisis

Aaand welcome back. [WJ looks to camera]

I have recently been accused of having a mid life crisis. Perhaps I just have a friend/colleague (hmmm, are they mutually exclusive?) or two who are concerned for me - nah. More likely some of smug-married mates living vicariously and feeling a tad jealous.

The reason for this? I would like to think that it isn't because I have all of a sudden started looking 10 years older and therefore have plunged wrinkle-first into looking middle aged - after all, isn't 40 the new 30 (whatever the hell that means)?

No, there are actually a couple of reasons for this, or maybe even 3. Let's go to our favourite formatting cop out, the list... Over to you Waz:

[Waz is chilling out with an Asahi and looks up from playing Gears of War]

Well, thanks WJ, let's take a look at what might have caused people to think you are moments away from a Ferrari, inflatable blond companion and an alcohol problem.. Maybe it is because they know you? [cut to WJ, looking pissed off] [cut back to Waz, chuckling at his own hilarity] Just joking WJ, let's get to that list:

1. You are, in fact, getting a new car. - yes, it's on the list!
2. You recently bought new glasses. Tick.

Hmmm, only two there at the moment. I think we need to drill down into those suckers and take a closer look - back to you WJ.

[WJ seeths with passive aggressive rage]

Yeah, thanks Waz, you crack me up. Those aren't wrinkles, they are non-structural cracks due to your side-splitting humour...

OK, back to more serious matters. It is quite true that I am looking for a new car at the moment - but that is mainly because the lease on my old one is running out and I need a car to be able to do my job.

And on the glasses issue - I have had a new prescription for over 6 months and hadn't got around to getting the new specs sorted. The fact that they are terribly cool has less to do with a need for sea change and more to do with me being, well, cool I guess.

So there you have it - rational explanations for what might at first blush appear to be the irrational acts of a man in crisis. Rest easy people, the world is yet in equilibrium...