Monday, March 19, 2007

The Bandwagon of Nobility

I am jumping on with both feet and er, the rest of me too. I went to Ross on Saturday night. I knew it would be good (no, not because of my tarot reading, but I will tell you all about that before long too), so was going in with high expectations. Let me tell you the story..... [cue fade]

A couple of months ago, OK maybe 6 or 8 weeks ago (I don't really remember and it isn't important so let it go, will you). A few friends decided to go and see Ross Noble. For some strange reason, I got an extra ticket - I like to think of it as an inspiring moment of hope. My friends laughed at my ridiculous optimism. Whatever. Ironically I had at that time also made a booking for 2 to go my fave restaurant, Oscillate Wildly, which had just had a good review and became even more ridiculously hard to get in to.

So to recap, I have a table for 2 at a great restaurant and a spare ticket to see Ross Noble within 2 days of each other. Let's just say that about 14 days out I started feeling like a prize dick. More of a prize dick.

So it came to be that a week or 2 back I met a lovely young lady at a seminar. Don't go there. About the whole meeting a chick at a seminar - the seminar itself was fine. We may have even met over the cheese (French) and wine (sadly not) offering afterwards. She loves food and wine, is fun, gorgeous and laughed at my jokes. No she isn't perfect ok. We were still there when the waiter came to clean up, and he brought in some Chinese food containers, saying "You guys obviously love the cheeses, I have to throw them out so why not take them home?"...

So we wander outside, booty in hand (sorry, bad image) and discussed catching up for a drink. Thursday was free. Then I remembered I had this booking at OW. So I invited her. We wisely decided to catch up for a drink Monday night, just in case either of us was weird. She still hasn't figured it out, btw.

Monday went well, And dinner on Thursday was fantastic. I am getting back to the point here people. So I invited her to Ross. (Look up this evening when you get home and note the stars in alignment). It was then I started thinking things through. We were going to Ross with some of my local Dog Friends, who never miss the opportunity to hang shit on me, or each other for that matter. To clarify, metaphorical shit, not that of the Dog variety. So we turned up to the pub, with them all there waiting to check out the latest victim. Then one of them mentioned that we actually had front row seats. Now those of you who have read mex or OMel will know that Ross works off the audience, and the front row are prime candidates....

So I am sitting there trying to be cool and drink my Guinness without wearing the mo, waiting for one of my 'mates' to burn me with this wonderful girl (who is quite happily chatting with them and getting on famously) and contemplating HOW ROSS NOBLE WILL EMBARRASS ME TO FINISH THE JOB.

You will be pleased to know that my friends were both fun and well behaved, Ross found a Girl With Too Many Bags and an Inordinately Late Financial Institution Employee (who later it turned out had been on a date, left it to come to Ross and then left early again when Ross paid out on Christians - his ears must have been burning on his way BACK to the date...) so I was unscathed, and she loved the show.

Ross was hysterical too. (That was the point. My work here is done - for now...)

21 Comments:

At 11:44 am, Blogger fingers said...

I fell asleep during your seminar.
How did this end ??
Did Seminar Trout put out...

 
At 11:47 am, Blogger WJ said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 11:48 am, Blogger WJ said...

fingers, a gentleman never discusses these things, at least not in writing.

It shall suffice to say that she is coming over for dinner tonight and I am looking forward to seeing her again.

Oh, and please don't call her that, it makes me think of the fish John West rejects, and she is most certainly not of that ilk..

 
At 12:02 pm, Blogger fingers said...

Well here's a free tip.
When she comes over try not to talk as though you're an 18th century English poet...

 
At 12:07 pm, Blogger WJ said...

Ah, thou dost cut to the quick.

I do fear alas that there may be an element of truth to such a baldly couched caution.

I shall refrain and utilise the tongue of the common man in all my dealings with this winsome maiden..

 
At 12:53 pm, Blogger fingers said...

Good idea.
A touch of the common tongue is always the gentlemanly thing to do before you fuck 'em.
Chicks like that...

 
At 3:00 pm, Blogger WJ said...

Ah dear fingers, I am trying to behave here, really.

I will just take your word for it...

 
At 3:07 pm, Blogger fingers said...

Hey, I forgot to mention that I met a work colleague of yours at a party a few weeks back.
Lawyer chick.
Nice girl.
Absolutely gagging for it, too.
And boy is she warm for your form.
If Seminar Trout doesn't let you put the ferret through her furry hoop, I reckon **** is a lay-down misere...

 
At 2:35 am, Anonymous SouthernBelle said...

god i love ross noble! i always watched him when he went on Rove but never had the opportunity to see him live. quite jealous.

and good to hear things are looking up in the romance department.

it's so fun in that first part where everything is new & exciting. good for you!

and fingers - eww. anyway, you should know that most of the hoops of Sydney are not furry - thanks to the advent of the brazilian wax!

warm for your form? that's just weird. oh - not the being warm, just the phrase.

; )

 
At 2:36 am, Anonymous SouthernBelle said...

oh and tell us what you made her for dinner!

(mmm food porn)

 
At 9:51 am, Blogger Original Mel said...

Fucking told you.

 
At 4:54 am, Anonymous SouthernBelle said...

OMel - I can't comment on your blog (no anon's), so shall hijack the good WJ's.

Damn, girl, 17 years? Is he hot? Does he have kids? Does he seem that much older when you have conversations?

Also, what's the biggest age gap anyone else has dated/pashed/rammed/etc?

For me the dating gap has only been within 2 years either side of my age, but the inappropriate/unequited crush has been much bigger, espesh when I was younger.

*hijack over* thanks WJ!

 
At 2:58 pm, Blogger W said...

Heh SB, my personal record was 24 year old footy player I met at the Opera Bar.

Hot hot hot. And 9 years difference but did I mention the body?

 
At 5:37 pm, Blogger fingers said...

I set a new personal record in Singapore last year.
5 years difference.
Between their combined ages and mine...

 
At 12:33 am, Anonymous SouthernBelle said...

W - what were you doing in the Opera Bar at the age of 15, missy???

 
At 9:43 am, Blogger Original Mel said...

Ok, SB, I might remove the no anonymous postings.

My excuse is he's lovely. And has a dry sense of humour. And has no kids. And makes me laugh. And is pretty cruisy about me being fiercely independent. And he thought I was older and I thought he was younger. And he's not Brad Pitt hott, but he's not bad on the eyes (actually, he's quite cute, I think). did I mention lovely?

There's no good in a 17 year age gap though, really. I mean, lets be honest.

/blog hijack

 
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