Thursday, February 08, 2007

Update

I was very touched to note fingers’ concern as to the progress of my love life, not to mention Southern Belle’s slightly more genuine interest.

Please allow me to bring you up to date. At catch-up drinks with some of the Punters a few weeks back, I made the mistake of telling fingers about a very attractive barmaid at the establishment at which we were drinking – the Bank in Newtown.

Said barmaid was very cute and made a damn fine martini – dirty gin martini, of course. She and I had admittedly brief but fun discussions about the merits of the Tanqueray martini vs the Bombay Sapphire martini. Yes, it is a tough life. To the uneducated eye (ie that of an Australian male – despite what we try to tell you, we really don’t get girls at all, then again, like you girls don’t already know that), she might even have been flirting with me, and the drinks were very, very cheap. For the purpose of this story, let’s call her Cute Martini Girl.

The martinis were had on Christmas Eve, a Sunday night. I may or may not have been back to the Bank a few times since (it is after all the newest bar in town and this has nothing to do with cute bar staff in general or CMG in particular), but never on a Sunday night. I didn’t see CMG on any of those occasions.

Let’s skip forward in time, mainly because we can and it is a narrative tool of which I don’t make enough use. Let’s imagine that a week or 2 ago I just happened to be walking past the Bank on a Sunday evening, when it occurred to me that nothing would help my basketball game later that evening than a martini or 2. The Bank looked busy, but this is never a bad thing, so I wandered in, and may have been paying more attention to the staff at the various bars than anything else.

After a while I started to note the preponderance of very fit boys with short hair, tight singlets, short shorts and fake tan. Now I live in Newtown, so this isn’t a matter for note, except for this: They are even less subtle about checking out each other than chicks are. It shall suffice to say that it isn’t altogether fun to:

  • Be stuck at the back of a pub that is completely chockers
  • Have to fight your way back through the crowd of gayboys who have all just checked you out and then done the face that fairly clearly communicates something to the effect of “Ooh, hi sweety, I think you have come to the wrong place, because the ‘former rugby player past his prime’ look isn’t working for me. Oh, and what is that t-shirt?”
  • Realising that the CMG who was the sole reason for going there in the first place isn’t there anyway.

Even doing the “I am just looking for my friends and I am astonished and slightly perplexed that they aren’t here yet” face as I struggled past all those rippling orange bodies wasn’t helping.

So to answer your question fingers, no, I haven’t seen the CMG again.

SB, the girls are already looking out as they are doing a good job of hiding.

The good news is, I can always make a dirty martini at home… as I don’t think Sunday evening at the Bank is an option.

18 Comments:

At 5:37 pm, Blogger fingers said...

Oh that's lovely, Todd.
I go out of my way to fake interest in your personal life and that's the thanks I get...

 
At 10:21 pm, Blogger W said...

Maybe you just aren't looking in the right gay nights?

 
At 10:35 pm, Blogger Original Mel said...

W has a point. Maybe Bears Night at the Shift is more your style?

 
At 1:24 am, Anonymous SouthernBelle said...

ahh the perils of the dating world. at least you're secure enough to share your experiences for the amusement of others.

unfortunately, in my admittedly limited experience, bar staff are simultaneously hot, flirty and unavailable/uninterested.

; )

PS - Thank you for sharing, WJ!
I love talking about love-lives. A friend I used to work with last year told me the story of his love life over a couple drinks, from uni up to that day, culminating in him asking my advice on how to best extricate from his current dilemma. It was seriously one of the best conversations I've ever had in my life.

 
At 8:54 am, Blogger WJ said...

I am comforted to think that with the support of you all, this will never be an issue.

fingers, I am sure you have the ability to fake a lot of things, and I feel privileged to be a part of that.

Thanks for the suggestions ladies, I will endeavour to broaden my gay night exposure, so to speak. As it appears you are the resident fag hag, Mel, any other suggestions?

SB, please don't get too excited. If there was anything of great import happening, it is unlikely to appear on these hallowed pages. This doesn't even qualify as a crash and burn really. Not that I have those, you realise...

 
At 4:52 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Watiti.com
Join me and my circle of friends at http://www.watiti.com, an online social networking community that connects people from all over the world.

Meet new people, share photos, create or attend events, post free classifieds, send free e-cards, listen music, read blogs, upload videos, be part of a club, chat rooms, forum and much more!

See you around! Bring all your friends too!

Watiti.com

 
At 5:41 pm, Blogger Original Mel said...

There you go WJ! Join Anonymous and their circle of friends at http://www.watiti.com. Lord knows with such an unusual name as anonymous it must be a rip snorter of a social network...

 
At 9:15 am, Blogger fingers said...

WTF ??
Watiti...
I bet they're a bunch of Haitian cannibals that meet and eat their victims on the net.
Still, it's got to beat going out in Newtown, so give them a try Todd...

 
At 11:54 am, Blogger WJ said...

I am leaving it there just because they probably think they are getting some exposure... HA! On HERE?

Hey, maybe I picked the wrong night at the Bank fingers, but I stand by Newtown as a great place to go out. Not necessarily a great place to meet chicks, mind you...

 
At 4:25 am, Anonymous SouthernBelle said...

hey sugar, where's y'all's column on the Superbowl?

; )

ps - fingers - love your new nickname for me!
I only WISH I got to eat shrimp often. Between being poor & married to a vegetarian, it's not so much. But Wild Georgia shrimp, when I can get them, are v v tasty. *wipes drool from chin*

 
At 9:05 am, Blogger fingers said...

Wild Georgia Shrimp !!!
That'd be a super nickname for Lewis...

 
At 9:29 am, Blogger WJ said...

Excuse me.

They are called PRAWNS.

 
At 9:30 am, Anonymous SouthernBelle said...

ahahahahahahaaa i like it... she might like it too

; )

 
At 9:32 am, Anonymous SouthernBelle said...

I know, right? But I figure since they're indigenous here, maybe they're a different species, so I dont feel too bad calling them shrimp.

PS, they are as big as Aussie Prawns.

PPS I have written a column for the next issue of my magazine of Aussie Sayings.

I rule.

 
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