The price one pays for a free trip to the theatre

I was taken to the theatre last night, to see Woman In Mind. It was a sensational production, and Noni Hazelhurst was fabulous in the lead. The rest of the cast were all familiar faces (with the exception of newcomer Sophie Ross, who was both radiant and delightful) and formed an ensemble that was strong to a person.

Problem is, and I know this is most ungracious, I was taken there by a firm as a client. "Where is the problem, you lucky ungrateful bastard?" I hear you ask.

The problem is, as I was saying, that you don't actually get to choose who from the law firms take you to these things, they do. And that means that almost without fail it is the pompous old partners who want to sit next to you over dinner and find out what work you can give them. The same ones who completely disingenuously ask about your personal life:

• where you are living (replying with Camperdown often elicits a briefly puzzled look before the mask of fake interest descends again, mostly as they try to work out where that is in relation to their mansion in Wahroonga or Bellevue Hill),
• how work is (this is their subtle way of finding out if you are busy enough to give them more work),
• how the dogs are (this is for the ones with good memories, who vainly try to act like they even care about dogs - almost none have any themselves, and if they do, they belong to the kids and the lawyer probably wouldn't recognise the dog much more than the kids they rarely see. There is nothing wrong with not having dogs or caring about them if you don't, but please don't pretend that my pugs are just the most adorable concept you wish you thought of yourself if the closest you come to canines is abusing an owner if it looks like his/her mutt may take a leak on your lawn),
• how the love life is (one for the bravest only, and they do get some points for being ballsy/tactless enough to go there in the face of the unknown. I derive some malicious glee from starting to answer the question with anything other than "fine", and then watching pure horror descend as they suddenly realise that I might be going through a divorce they weren't warned about and they just totally burnt themselves from getting any instructions from me ever again. I'm a bastard, but you knew that).

Some of them are great fun, some are even my friends, but I never get to sit with those ones. So every time I wonder why it is that I don't just go to the theatre with my friends, which would be much more fun. Or I could just think myself lucky that I even get the opportunity to have someone take me at all.

In the end I recommend you see it, as it was technically superb, funny and yet just incisive enough to leave one thinking, which is why we go to these things, isn't it. Just remember to take your friends with you.