The Bandwagon of Nobility

I am jumping on with both feet and er, the rest of me too. I went to Ross on Saturday night. I knew it would be good (no, not because of my tarot reading, but I will tell you all about that before long too), so was going in with high expectations. Let me tell you the story..... [cue fade]

A couple of months ago, OK maybe 6 or 8 weeks ago (I don't really remember and it isn't important so let it go, will you). A few friends decided to go and see Ross Noble. For some strange reason, I got an extra ticket - I like to think of it as an inspiring moment of hope. My friends laughed at my ridiculous optimism. Whatever. Ironically I had at that time also made a booking for 2 to go my fave restaurant, Oscillate Wildly, which had just had a good review and became even more ridiculously hard to get in to.

So to recap, I have a table for 2 at a great restaurant and a spare ticket to see Ross Noble within 2 days of each other. Let's just say that about 14 days out I started feeling like a prize dick. More of a prize dick.

So it came to be that a week or 2 back I met a lovely young lady at a seminar. Don't go there. About the whole meeting a chick at a seminar - the seminar itself was fine. We may have even met over the cheese (French) and wine (sadly not) offering afterwards. She loves food and wine, is fun, gorgeous and laughed at my jokes. No she isn't perfect ok. We were still there when the waiter came to clean up, and he brought in some Chinese food containers, saying "You guys obviously love the cheeses, I have to throw them out so why not take them home?"...

So we wander outside, booty in hand (sorry, bad image) and discussed catching up for a drink. Thursday was free. Then I remembered I had this booking at OW. So I invited her. We wisely decided to catch up for a drink Monday night, just in case either of us was weird. She still hasn't figured it out, btw.

Monday went well, And dinner on Thursday was fantastic. I am getting back to the point here people. So I invited her to Ross. (Look up this evening when you get home and note the stars in alignment). It was then I started thinking things through. We were going to Ross with some of my local Dog Friends, who never miss the opportunity to hang shit on me, or each other for that matter. To clarify, metaphorical shit, not that of the Dog variety. So we turned up to the pub, with them all there waiting to check out the latest victim. Then one of them mentioned that we actually had front row seats. Now those of you who have read mex or OMel will know that Ross works off the audience, and the front row are prime candidates....

So I am sitting there trying to be cool and drink my Guinness without wearing the mo, waiting for one of my 'mates' to burn me with this wonderful girl (who is quite happily chatting with them and getting on famously) and contemplating HOW ROSS NOBLE WILL EMBARRASS ME TO FINISH THE JOB.

You will be pleased to know that my friends were both fun and well behaved, Ross found a Girl With Too Many Bags and an Inordinately Late Financial Institution Employee (who later it turned out had been on a date, left it to come to Ross and then left early again when Ross paid out on Christians - his ears must have been burning on his way BACK to the date...) so I was unscathed, and she loved the show.

Ross was hysterical too. (That was the point. My work here is done - for now...)