The Hierarchy of Abuse

This is a topic that has had a fair share of an analysis, I am sure. Nevertheless, I was thinking about the appropriate use of abusive language to ensure you get your message across. It helps in this to think of these things in historical context - and I am talking here about one or even 2 centuries ago.

Now, it will surprise some of you to know that I wasn't actually around at the turn of the 20th century, which is about the latest I am talking here, and fingers has gone away so I am relying on research and my 'general' knowledge. I should say in my defence that I have read a lot of Dickens and all the Biggles stories. I have even read all Jane Austen's stuff and no fingers I am not gay.

Here are some examples:

1. "Dickhead". This can be used in a variety of contexts, from someone losing a snag off the hotplate mid-bbq to someone driving at 40 in a 70 zone.

The former is something like being a 'silly duffer' in my grandmother's eyes. In the latter case, if Mr Darcy was stuck behind a mail carriage that refused to pull over and let him pass in his sports carriole, he would have no doubt leaned out of his horse-drawn conveyance to shake his whip with vexation and cry "You sir are not a gentleman".

2. "Asshole". A little stronger, and hard to see this in a convivial context. This is more appropriate when cut off in traffic. And no, the trip to work was fine today, thank you, I just find traffic situations a simple example. No really.

If Biggles was an American fighter pilot (and I apologise to anyone who is currently having Mav and Goose based flashbacks just now - and while we are on the topic, does Val Kilmer win the Lifetime Award for services to Carpentry for his amazingly wooden acting in that movie or what?) he would have used this word to describe the Bally Huns or any other rotting blighter who did anything to prevent him from making his rendezvous with that frightfully accommodating young French peasant girl who he saved from certain deflowering at the hands of those dreadful scoundrels the Germans...

3. "Fuckwit". Stronger again - little love is lost in using this...

The Australian equivalent for my grandmother's ilk would be something like a "dirty bugger", whereas Elizabeth Bentley would have found a man to be "not handsome, not at all extraordinary and without fortune."

4. "C-". As you can see, my reluctance to use this one off the bat is a sure sign of its gravity. I must confess though that I have used this word more often in the last 2 years than in my entire life before that. This is primarily due to a mate of mine who drops the c word like it is going out of fashion. To the point where a group of us are running a book on what will be his 12mth old son's first word. Mum and Dad are running distantly behind fuck, but cunt has the money.

It is difficult to find a completely accurate equivalent to this, however I suspect that this is much like being a bounder and a cad. I have always wondered what the exact difference is between these, and it appears not as much as one might think, but from memory fellows tended to be both. I now believe this is the equivalent, at least for Rik, of being a bastard and bastard.

The interesting thing as that only the last one tends to give any degree of satisfaction these days, and even then not as much as before. We need a new extreme...

Do you have any more for us? Go on, share...