Gluttony for punishment and other non-S&M matters

I have just watched the AFL Grand Final - mixed emotions. I wanted the Cats to win, but not in the bloodbath that just took place. A good mate of mine, a mad Cats fan, booked a ticket to Melbourne about 8 weeks ago, in light of the season that Geelong were having, but didn't have a ticket to the game. Apparently he was going to paint a sign making it clear that he would do anything for a ticket, and hang around outside the Gee. Not sure whether he would do ANYTHING, but he is pretty keen, so hopefully he will just get himself incredibly drunk afterwards so he doesn't remember the price he had to pay...

I recall that I posted about this long weekend last year, but I know damn well that none of you will either remember or be arsed looking it up, so why not tell you exactly how fun it is. The AFL Grand Final, tick.

Tomorrow is my mate Gary's Oktoberfest party, where everyone brings their beers AND a bottle of schnapps. This shindig starts at 12, so there are more brews than you could point a pretzel at, and about 25 BOTTLES of schnapps. I am subtly using caps for emphasis here. The even better news is that Graeme, the normal Evil Scientist of the schnapps shooters, is away. Therefore I am Head Mixologist. Be afraid, be very afraid. (OK, it isn't like any of you will be there, but just work with me and be at least a little apprehensive. please?) It is a skill, being able to combine various schnapps. The plum with the sour apple, the Gletchereise with the Butterscotch, the Jagermeister with, well, that crap doesn't deserve to go with anything, true. You get the idea though. It will be a long, hard day, but someone's gotta do it. May the sauerkraut be with me.

The other news of no interest to any of you is that I am going to do some renovations. At least, I have appointed an architect (that a mate from work recommended) to draw up some plans. My place would be awesome with a bit of a rework, but from what I hear, it may be easier to just get a nice new drillbit and put my hammer drill through my left eye (apologies to anyone eating, but really, why would you ruin a good bowl of Corn Flakes with this shite? Unless it is dinner time, in which case your Special K deserve better). Then there is the comfort I draw from knowing that I will have to give not only my first-born but a mortgage over my left, er, leg to the bank.

Anyone else have any horror stories they can share to make me feel better (about renovating, not about putting your drill through your head. Don't get me wrong, if you have put your drill through your head, feel free to tell me about it, but come on, take a long hard look at yourself - unless the drill went through your eye, in which case, get someone else to take a long hard look at you and tell you EXACTLY what they see...)

Have a great weekend all.

Cracking week, Gromit

Hi folks. Sorry about the delay, but I can't do this in my lunchtimes any more, and as you will soon discover, I have been a busy boy.

Scoring Freebies. Now in my line of work, I am lucky enough to be a 'client' and therefore I get taken out to the occasional lunch or even dinner at a nice restaurant. Yes, I am a lucky barbarian.

THIS week, however, has been a complete bloody cracker.

On Monday, a mate of mine from pub trivia calls me. A few of us had been talking a week back about the musical of War of the Worlds. My Dad played this to me a lot as a kid, so I remember the music and the songs. Perhaps a little daggy, but this thing has lasers up the wazoo, a 10 piece band, a 40 piece string section, Justin Heyward from the Moody Blues (bastard is clearly a cyborg as he hasn't changed either in sound or appearance in 30 years), and A CG HOLOGRAM OF RICHARD BURTON MATCHED TO HIS VOICE NARRATION. Hmm, a little excited then. So friend calls, he has tickets. A tad nervous, as the tickets were heaps, but I figured what the hell. Then he tells me they are FREEBIES. sorry, more caps. The production was awesome and we had a ball.

I go to work on Wednesday, to find our marketing manager in a bit of a froth. No ladies, not like that. There is a client lunch on, and a few of the powers-that-be have pulled out at the last minute. I am a team barbarian so I say yes, I have met a couple of the clients, so I can go. Where is it? Darling Harbour? Sure, that is ok. What is the occasion? Oh, some politician giving a speech... WTF? It is the AL GORE lunch? (I really have to stop it doing that).

Lunch is quite nice, in the way of these things where they are catering for 500 people. Then Al comes out, and starts talking. Let me tell you, I have never heard a more eloquent, logical, passionate and convincing speech in my life. I mean, I can only begin to imagine how different the world might be if this man had actually won the US election. He took a number of questions, and his answers were thoughtful and as eloquent as his original speech. I am convinced.

Plus I am going to Oktoberfest at the Concordia Club tomorrow night, then Feastability in Newtown on Sunday.

Does life get any better than this?

Boy stuff

I know what you are thinking. WJ must be as happy as a very happy thing wearing its best happy boots this month. I mean, after all, let's just look at what is happening:

1. It is September. That means that the AFL finals are on. Last weekend, 4 games of footy featuring the best 8 teams in the league. Two were close, two weren't but still great to watch. This weekend, 2 more games, then on through the weekend. What's not to love?

2. Yes, September 2007. The Rugby World Cup. The best rugby nations in the world playing for over a month, answering questions such as "How far can England fall having won it all in 2003?" and "Exactly when will the All Blacks choke?"

3. Did I mention it is September? Wow, that means that the NFL season is kicking off. Foxtel showing more games than ever, and the opportunity for more pundits than you could poke a 300 pound lineman at dusting off crystal balls, sifting through chicken entrails and speculating over every possible issue or non-issue to do with anyone who ever had anything to do with an NFL player or team.

So that all sounds terribly exciting. But let's pause for just a moment. Look a little closer. Tear your eyes away, even if only momentarily, from the rippling and well oiled Herculean physique, the massive sword, and look into the eyes...

What is this? Are they the sad eyes of a clown? What could be the cause in such happy times? Let's review all there is to look forward to:

1. The AFL Finals. That is exciting right? Oh hang on, that's right, the Sydney Swans lost lat week, and now they are out of the finals. Hmm, that isn't great I guess. Oh. They lost to COLLINGWOOD? Yup, that is certainly enough to take the shine off the AFL Septopia...

2. There is still the Rugby World Cup though. What can be wrong with that? Apart from the first two thirds of the tournament being a farce, of course. Top professional teams playing against amateurs and running up cricket scores. I know, it couldn't be a world cup without that, but not great to watch for at least another couple of weeks.

3. What about the NFL? Got to be good news, doesn't it? Unless you support the Vikings that is. 4 Superbowl appearances, no wins. An untried Quarterback and an average receiving corps. Plus they come from Minnesota. Oh dear....

So if you see WJ (you will know him by his distinctive loincloth and sword, although he has ditched the headband as it is sooo 2006) spare a thought, he may be smiling as much as always, but check his eyes for tears, the tears of a clown. Give him a hug already...

Absence makes the hits go yonder

Hello there patient, or more likely lost, visitors.

In recent events they (the evil They, they know who they are) have cut off my blogger access from work, which means that you will have to get by with only intermittent bursts of my sparkling wit and lightning fast ripostes. You have all been very stoic so far. Hang in there team.

I also went away for the weekend with a group of mates 2 weekends ago - which was great, except that one of the midgets (children) was infected and clearly not sterilised prior to being exposed to normal people. half of us proceeded to come down with a ridiculously offensive bug of the digestive system variety. You know that feeling where you really want to die, having spent your 10th hour in the bathroom? Yeah, that one.

I play basketball. This means that, despite my Herculean frame, every now and then you get hit with the ball on a finger or thumb. (Actually, have no idea what this has to do with having a Herculean frame or not, but I am sticking with it ok?). So I copped one on the thumb 4 weeks ago. Usual story, thumb swells up, bruises all to hell, hurts quite a bit. Normally so it goes for a week or 2.

So 4 weeks later, still hurting, as in I still can't pick stuff up. Not talking World's Strongest Man material, I'm talking a cup full of coffee. Time for an X ray. Yep, its fractured. Now I get to wear one of these delightful apparatus for a few weeks.

Do you have any idea how long it took to get this thrilling story down for you all? I feel like opening WJ's Special School for Typing. Enrol early and often...